They were back at the Pancake Palace.
The day had come and gone. Mira Sorvino, Larry, and the rest of the parking lot had been cleaned up by Charlie's agents.
Gordo was in jail, but Tim the Fake Prophet was still on the loose.
Now they were wrapped up in darkness again, as if in a warm blanket.
The Night Chasers were celebrating a victory--just like old times.
JONO: Alma! We heard you quit.
ALMA: I retired, but then I got bored.
SARA: How come we never recruited her?
CHARLIE: We couldn't afford her.
Janie couldn't believe that she had been chosen to be the next Prophet. It was a huge honor.
CHARLIE: As far as we can tell, Janie, you're the first female Prophet in history.
SARA: Considering how lousy her left hook is--
CHARLIE: Sara--
JANIE: It's all right. Let her talk. She's just jealous.
JONO: So Janie, are you going to stay on the team?
CHARLIE: She can't stay on the team. She's the Prophet.
SARA: Besides, there is no more team. We were trying to find out who killed Nat. We found out. We got revenge. Now we can all go back to our lives.
JANIE: Oh, I don't know about that.
The assassins were surrounding the Pancake Palace. Janie had managed to acquire a few by putting an ad on Match.com.
She was going to be a different kind of Prophet.
JANIE: I think we still have some unfinished business.
She was going to succeed where others had failed.
JANIE: Anyone want my bacon?
She was going to kill the Night Chasers.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Friday, October 30, 2009
We Want Your Oscar, Bitch
It was down to Mira Sorvino and the remaining Night Chasers.
They were standing in the parking lot surrounded by dead ninjas and homeless people.
Gordo had a gun on Charlie, Agent Filson (who had a fresh bullet wound to the arm, thanks to Gordo), Sara, Jono, and Janie, who was lying in Sara's arm half-conscious.
MIRA: It looks like I won. The Prophet is dead.
CHARLIE: Yet we're still here.
SARA: That's because until the sun comes up, we still have time to find the new prophet.
MIRA: Sun's up in a few minutes. I don't think you're going to make it.
JONO: There's a new prophet?
CHARLIE: There's always a new prophet. One dies, another takes over.
MIRA: I was going to wait and just let the Apocalypse destroy you, but then I thought--Where's the fun in that?
They heard Gordo giggling behind them. Then Sara whispered something in Janie's ear.
MIRA: Famous last words?
SARA: That depends.
MIRA: On what?
SARA: On if--'We want your Oscar, bitch' could be considered last words.
Before Mira could figure out what they were talking about, Janie pulled a gun from underneath her shirt, and shot Mira Sorvino.
Gordo screamed, but Jono and Charlie tackled him before he could shoot.
SARA: Guys! The sun is coming up.
JANIE: It's okay, Sara.
SARA: Janie, it's really not okay. This is the end of the world.
There was the sound of birds chirping.
JANIE: No, it really is okay. Larry told me.
SARA: Told you what?
Janie smiled.
JANIE: He told me I was the Prophet.
They were standing in the parking lot surrounded by dead ninjas and homeless people.
Gordo had a gun on Charlie, Agent Filson (who had a fresh bullet wound to the arm, thanks to Gordo), Sara, Jono, and Janie, who was lying in Sara's arm half-conscious.
MIRA: It looks like I won. The Prophet is dead.
CHARLIE: Yet we're still here.
SARA: That's because until the sun comes up, we still have time to find the new prophet.
MIRA: Sun's up in a few minutes. I don't think you're going to make it.
JONO: There's a new prophet?
CHARLIE: There's always a new prophet. One dies, another takes over.
MIRA: I was going to wait and just let the Apocalypse destroy you, but then I thought--Where's the fun in that?
They heard Gordo giggling behind them. Then Sara whispered something in Janie's ear.
MIRA: Famous last words?
SARA: That depends.
MIRA: On what?
SARA: On if--'We want your Oscar, bitch' could be considered last words.
Before Mira could figure out what they were talking about, Janie pulled a gun from underneath her shirt, and shot Mira Sorvino.
Gordo screamed, but Jono and Charlie tackled him before he could shoot.
SARA: Guys! The sun is coming up.
JANIE: It's okay, Sara.
SARA: Janie, it's really not okay. This is the end of the world.
There was the sound of birds chirping.
JANIE: No, it really is okay. Larry told me.
SARA: Told you what?
Janie smiled.
JANIE: He told me I was the Prophet.
Everything But the Kitchen Sink
Charlie found Larry amidst the sinks.
He had Agent Filson sitting in the Cooper Deluxe Model with a gun pointed at him.
CHARLIE: Larry!
Charlie kept his hands up, so as not to get shot. He and Larry had been close once, but that wasn't going to help his chances.
LARRY: Stay back, Chuck!
CHARLIE: I'd prefer Big Man.
LARRY: Well get used to Chuck! Once Mira wins, there won't be anymore government! There won't be anymore anything!
CHARLIE: We don't know that.
FILSON: Actually, sir, we're pretty certain.
CHARLIE: Not helping, Filson.
FILSON: Sorry, Big Man.
Charlie moved closer to Larry.
CHARLIE: Larry, don't do this. Don't be like Nat.
LARRY: You never did understand destiny, Chuck.
CHARLIE: I understood you.
LARRY: Then take me down.
CHARLIE: I don't want to have to do that.
VOICE: Fine, I'll do it.
A gunshot rang out. Larry looked down and saw blood.
He fell into Charlie's arms.
Charlie looked behind him and saw Gordo with a gun.
GORDO: A prophet would have seen that coming.
Then he pointed the gun at Charlie.
GORDO: One down, four to go.
And he pulled the trigger.
He had Agent Filson sitting in the Cooper Deluxe Model with a gun pointed at him.
CHARLIE: Larry!
Charlie kept his hands up, so as not to get shot. He and Larry had been close once, but that wasn't going to help his chances.
LARRY: Stay back, Chuck!
CHARLIE: I'd prefer Big Man.
LARRY: Well get used to Chuck! Once Mira wins, there won't be anymore government! There won't be anymore anything!
CHARLIE: We don't know that.
FILSON: Actually, sir, we're pretty certain.
CHARLIE: Not helping, Filson.
FILSON: Sorry, Big Man.
Charlie moved closer to Larry.
CHARLIE: Larry, don't do this. Don't be like Nat.
LARRY: You never did understand destiny, Chuck.
CHARLIE: I understood you.
LARRY: Then take me down.
CHARLIE: I don't want to have to do that.
VOICE: Fine, I'll do it.
A gunshot rang out. Larry looked down and saw blood.
He fell into Charlie's arms.
Charlie looked behind him and saw Gordo with a gun.
GORDO: A prophet would have seen that coming.
Then he pointed the gun at Charlie.
GORDO: One down, four to go.
And he pulled the trigger.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Janie's Revenge
There was a lot of blood.
Sara took out seven men using nothing but her lipstick and a twig she found on the ground.
The homeless army led by Jono managed to beat back Mira Sorvino's crew of assassins.
Four minutes in, Janie saw the man who killed her husband.
His face was covered, but Janie knew it was him because of his exposed hands.
JANIE: You're mine!
The assassin took off his mask, revealing--
MIRA: You sure you can handle me?
JANIE: You killed my husband?
MIRA: And I still haven't gotten my thank you card.
Janie ran at her, but she felt herself being pulled back behind a parked car.
JANIE: Sara!
SARA: She'll kill you.
JANIE: I'll die with honor!
SARA: Probably not. She's been known to dress up her corpses like land turtles.
JANIE: I HAVE TO DO THIS!
She came out from behind the car, and felt the bullet pierce her left shoulder.
Janie remembered seeing Sara running out from behind the car, and holding her...telling her she'd be fine...
That was when she saw Tim, the Fake Prophet coming at them...
...And it all went dark.
Sara took out seven men using nothing but her lipstick and a twig she found on the ground.
The homeless army led by Jono managed to beat back Mira Sorvino's crew of assassins.
Four minutes in, Janie saw the man who killed her husband.
His face was covered, but Janie knew it was him because of his exposed hands.
JANIE: You're mine!
The assassin took off his mask, revealing--
MIRA: You sure you can handle me?
JANIE: You killed my husband?
MIRA: And I still haven't gotten my thank you card.
Janie ran at her, but she felt herself being pulled back behind a parked car.
JANIE: Sara!
SARA: She'll kill you.
JANIE: I'll die with honor!
SARA: Probably not. She's been known to dress up her corpses like land turtles.
JANIE: I HAVE TO DO THIS!
She came out from behind the car, and felt the bullet pierce her left shoulder.
Janie remembered seeing Sara running out from behind the car, and holding her...telling her she'd be fine...
That was when she saw Tim, the Fake Prophet coming at them...
...And it all went dark.
Don't Mess With the Homeless
Larry woke up in a cold sweat.
Then he realized he was sleeping in a bathtub.
Still, he was sweating.
He could hear the sounds of people on the roof.
VOICE: Larry!
Charlie pulled him out of the bathtub.
CHARLIE: They're here. They found us.
VOICE: Guys!
They looked down towards the doors of the store, where shadows were moving around in the parking lot. Then ten sets of headlights came pouring into the furniture store, waking all the hobos, who were not pleased.
SARA: How did they know we were here?
VOICE: I think I know the answer to that.
Jono held up Larry's phone.
LARRY: Uh oh...y'all.
JONO: Drop the accent, Larry. You tipped off Mira Sorvino.
JANIE: Larry, why?
LARRY: Because, apparently, I'm the Prophet.
SARA: Bull.
LARRY: Nat told me!
CHARLIE: Did he also say to betray all of us?
LARRY: YES!
JONO: Actually, that does sound like Nat.
There was the sound of men unloading outside the store. The hobos were all gathered in the kitchen section.
Agent Filson whistled for attention.
FILSON: Clearly, we can't trust Larry. That means he's getting locked in a cabinet during what's about to go down.
JANIE: Which is?
FILSON: We see if we can hold them off until morning. It's only another hour.
SARA: With what army?
JONO: This one.
Jono motioned behind him, where the hobos were already sharpening the legs of the dining room tables that they'd ripped off with their bare hands.
CHARLIE: They know how to fight?
JONO: Why do you think I've been homeless all these years? I was trying to build a militia to overthrow the government.
CHARLIE: But Jono, I run the government.
JONO: I'm aware of that, but you do a rotten job.
SARA: He's got a point, Big Man.
Just then, a smoke bomb came crashing through the door.
JANIE: What are we going to do?
JONO: We're not going to hold them off, that's for sure. We're going to take them down!
There arose a cry of war from one of the hobos. They had streaked their faces with dried tuna.
JONO: Grab a faucet or a small chair, and strike with fury!
Jono ran for the door with his hobos behind him.
It was almost moving...if not for the tuna.
JANIE: I've got the man that killed my husband.
SARA: I've got Mira.
CHARLIE: I'll hang back here so that the infrastructure doesn't topple.
They all looked at him.
CHARLIE: What? I'm like the General.
SARA: I think Jono of the Hobos just took that spot.
JANIE: What about Larry--
But when they turned around, Larry was gone.
And so was Filson...
...and his gun.
CHARLIE: On second thought, let me handle Larry.
Then he realized he was sleeping in a bathtub.
Still, he was sweating.
He could hear the sounds of people on the roof.
VOICE: Larry!
Charlie pulled him out of the bathtub.
CHARLIE: They're here. They found us.
VOICE: Guys!
They looked down towards the doors of the store, where shadows were moving around in the parking lot. Then ten sets of headlights came pouring into the furniture store, waking all the hobos, who were not pleased.
SARA: How did they know we were here?
VOICE: I think I know the answer to that.
Jono held up Larry's phone.
LARRY: Uh oh...y'all.
JONO: Drop the accent, Larry. You tipped off Mira Sorvino.
JANIE: Larry, why?
LARRY: Because, apparently, I'm the Prophet.
SARA: Bull.
LARRY: Nat told me!
CHARLIE: Did he also say to betray all of us?
LARRY: YES!
JONO: Actually, that does sound like Nat.
There was the sound of men unloading outside the store. The hobos were all gathered in the kitchen section.
Agent Filson whistled for attention.
FILSON: Clearly, we can't trust Larry. That means he's getting locked in a cabinet during what's about to go down.
JANIE: Which is?
FILSON: We see if we can hold them off until morning. It's only another hour.
SARA: With what army?
JONO: This one.
Jono motioned behind him, where the hobos were already sharpening the legs of the dining room tables that they'd ripped off with their bare hands.
CHARLIE: They know how to fight?
JONO: Why do you think I've been homeless all these years? I was trying to build a militia to overthrow the government.
CHARLIE: But Jono, I run the government.
JONO: I'm aware of that, but you do a rotten job.
SARA: He's got a point, Big Man.
Just then, a smoke bomb came crashing through the door.
JANIE: What are we going to do?
JONO: We're not going to hold them off, that's for sure. We're going to take them down!
There arose a cry of war from one of the hobos. They had streaked their faces with dried tuna.
JONO: Grab a faucet or a small chair, and strike with fury!
Jono ran for the door with his hobos behind him.
It was almost moving...if not for the tuna.
JANIE: I've got the man that killed my husband.
SARA: I've got Mira.
CHARLIE: I'll hang back here so that the infrastructure doesn't topple.
They all looked at him.
CHARLIE: What? I'm like the General.
SARA: I think Jono of the Hobos just took that spot.
JANIE: What about Larry--
But when they turned around, Larry was gone.
And so was Filson...
...and his gun.
CHARLIE: On second thought, let me handle Larry.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
How To Be a Prophet
Nat was explaining to Larry how being a prophet works.
NAT: You have to kill the Night Chasers.
LARRY: But they protect the Prophet.
NAT: They try to, but you keep trying to kill them.
LARRY: But the Prophet trains the Night Chasers.
NAT: Sometimes they train the Prophets. I trained you and the others, but I was trained by the Night Chasers of my time.
LARRY: What happened to the Night Chasers of your time?
NAT: I killed them.
LARRY: Ahhh...
They were having this discussion in Larry's dream.
LARRY: So I have to kill Charlie, Sara, Janie, and Jono?
NAT: You have to try to kill them at least.
LARRY: But they're my friends.
NAT: You're doing them a favor. It'll toughen them up. It's a Prophet's job to toughen up the Night Chasers for when they face bigger and stronger foes.
LARRY: Like Linda the Evil Acrobat?
NAT: Nah, she was just an idiot.
The waitress, an iguana, brought them more noodles.
LARRY: These noodles aren't so bad.
NAT: Forget the noodles. Wake up, tell Filson that I told you that the prophet has the tattoo that Gordo has, that'll throw them off. Then get them to a safe location, and tip off Mira Sorvino where you are.
LARRY: Won't I get killed in the process? Mira Sorvino wants to kill the prophet and end the world.
NAT: The Night Chasers won't let her kill you.
LARRY: But what if they fail?
NAT: Then we're all doomed anyway.
Nat threw a twenty on the table and two lollipops.
NAT: Now wake up and betray your friends. It's your destiny.
LARRY: Okay.
NAT: And finish your noodles; you're too thin.
Nat disappeared.
LARRY: I better start working on that fake Southern accent.
NAT: You have to kill the Night Chasers.
LARRY: But they protect the Prophet.
NAT: They try to, but you keep trying to kill them.
LARRY: But the Prophet trains the Night Chasers.
NAT: Sometimes they train the Prophets. I trained you and the others, but I was trained by the Night Chasers of my time.
LARRY: What happened to the Night Chasers of your time?
NAT: I killed them.
LARRY: Ahhh...
They were having this discussion in Larry's dream.
LARRY: So I have to kill Charlie, Sara, Janie, and Jono?
NAT: You have to try to kill them at least.
LARRY: But they're my friends.
NAT: You're doing them a favor. It'll toughen them up. It's a Prophet's job to toughen up the Night Chasers for when they face bigger and stronger foes.
LARRY: Like Linda the Evil Acrobat?
NAT: Nah, she was just an idiot.
The waitress, an iguana, brought them more noodles.
LARRY: These noodles aren't so bad.
NAT: Forget the noodles. Wake up, tell Filson that I told you that the prophet has the tattoo that Gordo has, that'll throw them off. Then get them to a safe location, and tip off Mira Sorvino where you are.
LARRY: Won't I get killed in the process? Mira Sorvino wants to kill the prophet and end the world.
NAT: The Night Chasers won't let her kill you.
LARRY: But what if they fail?
NAT: Then we're all doomed anyway.
Nat threw a twenty on the table and two lollipops.
NAT: Now wake up and betray your friends. It's your destiny.
LARRY: Okay.
NAT: And finish your noodles; you're too thin.
Nat disappeared.
LARRY: I better start working on that fake Southern accent.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Larry's Dream
This is Larry's dream.
LARRY: Hello?
He's at the Pancake Palace.
LARRY: I'd like some pancakes.
VOICE: Hello Larry.
He turns around and sees Nat.
LARRY: Nat?
NAT: I know, I look pretty good considering I'm dead, huh?
He takes a seat the counter next to Larry.
LARRY: Ohhh, this is a vision, isn't it?
NAT: Yup. I've come to bring you a message.
LARRY: If it's about Tim--
NAT: That was a red herring.
LARRY: Tim's a fish?
NAT: No, the note leading you to the Juice Shack was a red herring.
LARRY: Ohhh...
NAT: Tim's not the prophet.
LARRY: Then who is?
The waitress brought a bowl of noodles.
LARRY: I wanted pancakes.
NAT: They don't have pancakes in visions.
LARRY: Oh right, I forgot.
Nat waves to the Blue Gorilla sitting at the next table.
LARRY: So...
NAT: My replacement?
LARRY: If it's not Tim--
NAT: I'm surprised you haven't figured it out yet, Larry.
It suddenly hit Larry was Nat was saying.
NAT: It's you.
LARRY: Hello?
He's at the Pancake Palace.
LARRY: I'd like some pancakes.
VOICE: Hello Larry.
He turns around and sees Nat.
LARRY: Nat?
NAT: I know, I look pretty good considering I'm dead, huh?
He takes a seat the counter next to Larry.
LARRY: Ohhh, this is a vision, isn't it?
NAT: Yup. I've come to bring you a message.
LARRY: If it's about Tim--
NAT: That was a red herring.
LARRY: Tim's a fish?
NAT: No, the note leading you to the Juice Shack was a red herring.
LARRY: Ohhh...
NAT: Tim's not the prophet.
LARRY: Then who is?
The waitress brought a bowl of noodles.
LARRY: I wanted pancakes.
NAT: They don't have pancakes in visions.
LARRY: Oh right, I forgot.
Nat waves to the Blue Gorilla sitting at the next table.
LARRY: So...
NAT: My replacement?
LARRY: If it's not Tim--
NAT: I'm surprised you haven't figured it out yet, Larry.
It suddenly hit Larry was Nat was saying.
NAT: It's you.
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